vote for the children of all the Chicken-necker moms

Exciting news out here on the shore! In the Pepsi Refresh contest, the Kent Island Discovery Zone has finally reached #10. As I explained in an earlier post, the top ten winners win $25,000 to further their cause.

I wish I could say that we could all relax, but we can't. The contest runs until May 31st, so other organizations have 5 days to try to kick us out of the top ten so they will have a shot at winning money too. I wish everyone could win. I have read through the other entries, and they all sound like worthy causes. Unfortunately, winning this contest may be the only chance we have to rebuild the indoor playground/children's center that was destroyed by that act of God otherwise known as Winter 2010.

Now I really have no idea how many readers I really have. I have a read count, but for all I know it could really be the three lonely followers I have just reading over and over. But on the off chance that I have more readers than that, please take this opportunity to vote for our center to receive the funds we need to reopen for the children of the Upper Eastern Shore. Get all of your friends and relatives to vote also. Details can be found at the bottom of this blog, so scroll down and check it out.

The sooner we get through this and win, the sooner I can get back to writing about parenting in a tourist town. Summer is coming, and with that the promise of adventures (and misadventures). And if you are a regular reader, please become a follower so I know you are out there. Much love to you all, and help us out and VOTE!

Would That Really be the Worst Thing in the World?

?I had a strange conversation with my 6 year old daughter today. I can't for the life of me decide if I am okay with how this conversation ended. It was just weird, especially when you consider that I NEVER had anything like this discussion with my own mother, ever.

I know my daughter has lofty plans. Last year, whenever you would ask her what she wanted to be when she grew up, her answer was always,"I want to be everything". More power to ya, babe. I have always told her that she can be anything she wants, so I really liked her attitude about it.

This year, she is adamant about wanting to be a veternarian when she grows up. For 6 months now, that answer hasn't wavered. She loves animals and she wants to help them and take care of them as her career. I think she would be a fabulous vet, and I will do anything I can to encourage this lofty goal.

Today she told me that she is never getting married or having children. This kind of struck me as odd, since she has also told me before that she someday wants to be a mom. I am now wondering what changed her mind. I asked her why she doesn't want to get married someday, and she replied, "because I want to be a veternarian instead." So,now I am wondering if I have something to do with this attitude change. Does she look at me and think that you can't have children or a husband and have a career? I always thought I was being self-sacrificing and noble by staying home to take care of her and her brother full time, but instead did I give her a skewed view of how life works? And, even worse, is she sensing and responding to the deep dissatisfaction I felt with my life? Has my frustration and sadness about not having a car for almost 18 months taught her that to be a wife and mother is to be trapped? Is she trying to avoid becoming me?

Then, I figure that she is only 6 years old, and her opinions and attitudes will change many many times in the coming years, and she will probably change her mind many times about how she sees her life turning out. After I go back to work, she will be seeing a very different version of me, and her opinions will probably change accordingly.

But then, I wonder, do I even want her attitudes to change? Am I really believing that marriage and children is the only path to happiness. Would my beautiful intelligent daughter be just as happy as a single career girl. I know for a fact that my heart would break if she grew up believing that only through a guys love and acceptance would she have validation, but here I am worrying that she might miss out on that very experience. What the heck is wrong with me???

Daughters are hard. Especially in this ever changing and complicated world. I wish I knew exactly the right thing to say in every situation, but I really don't. So, I am letting her have her opinions. If she has decided right now that she never wants to get married, then I am totally on board with that. Whatever makes her happy.

Dial 1 for Absurdity!

I was just last night presented with a possible business opportunity that I may not be able to pass up. I have been thinking about it all night since I had the initial conversation on the side of Route 50 on Kent Island. (I would tell you why I was standing on the side of the highway, but I don't want to embarress the person who's truck accidentally ran out of gas. And no, it wasn't me) The woman who came to bring us a couple gallons of gas and rescue us from having to walk home started a converation with me that sounded a lot like she was pondering a business arrangement with me. I don't want to say too much right now, in case I misunderstood her, but it was very interesting and right in my wheelhouse.

Sadly, I didn't do the smart thing and ask to ride home with her and continue the conversation. I also didn't get her email address or phone number. All I got was her husbands name and her address.

I had planned on trying to get in touch with her early next week, but my curiousity and impatience got the absolute best of me and I decided to call her today and try to set up a lunch where we could talk. Getting up to get the phone book seemed like too much trouble, so I picked up the phone and dialed 411. I connected to Vonage 411 and the computer voice directed me to "press 1 for English". Well, I pressed 1, and the system HUNG UP ON ME! Not to be deterred, I tried again. This time, when I pressed 1 for English, I could hear the system click me over to another line and start ringing. I counted the rings, and 17 rings went by with no one picking up. WHAT IS THIS COUNTRY COMING TO??? Seriously? Vonage cannot find English speaking telephone operators on a Sunday?? Thank God I wasn't trying to dial 911 or anything. I would probably be dead by now!!!

Do you know what I ended up doing? I got up and found the trusty old phone book. Already written in English and guarrenteed never to give me attitude about it!! I quickly found the woman's number and dialed it.

Busy Signal!

No matter, I will not be deterred!

To be mormon, just for a moment. . .

Sometimes I wish I could be split into two people. One of me could stay here and take care of the house and the children, and the other me could go take care of me. I would get so much done. I could get a job and not have to look for day care. Of course it would have to be a pretty high paying job, since there would be two of me to feed instead of just one, but I am sure the extra food would be cheaper than child care. Maybe the second me could be the one that sticks to a diet.

I am sitting here in my living room currently. I was supposed to be somewhere about 39 minutes ago. I was actually supposed to be at two different somewheres 39 minutes ago, but the one place was a funeral so I am not quite counting it in this situation. The other place I was supposed to be was my weekly craft group. I am in the middle of decorating a wooden lazy susan with an enormous mosiac'd lighthouse decorating the top. I have the design all planned out, the lighthouse looks just like the one that my husband and I climbed on our honeymoon. I am using black tiles for the night sky, with tiny little mirrored tiles for stars. Yellow tiles will represent the sweeping beam of light coming from the windows of the lighthouse, and I have used deep ocean blue tiles for the. . .well. . .the deep ocean blue ocean in fact. It is going to be gorgeous and I can't wait to finish it.

Yet, here I sit. My husband supposedly left work now 43 minutes ago, right when I was supposed to arrive there. The kids have been bathed, and are sitting in front of an episode of Go, Diego, Go! and I am very patiently waiting. If I had two of me, one of me could be sitting here watching the kids and the other of me could be finishing my project.

Have you ever seen the show "Big Love" on HBO. I used to think that it was so unfair that the wives on the show had to share Bill. Now, I think I really could use a sister-wife. (ironically enough, Matt has said before that he is all for the idea of a sister-wife, as long as she is hot. Isn't that just a GUY thing to say?)

I am sure he will be home soon. Until then, I will be sitting here enjoying the first moment of peace and quiet that I have had all day. And I am equally sure, now that I have said it outloud, the peace and quiet will soon end and I will be once again back to my job as house referee. Until then. . .

I'm back!!!

I know I just posted yesterday, but something really important happened today that I must talk about. At about 8:07 this morning, the worst thing that could ever happen to me, happened!

The peninsula lost internet!!!!!

Not just my house, not just my neighborhood, but apparently the whole Delmarva Peninsula, or at the very least the upper eastern shore, lost their ability to access the internet.

I don't know if this has anything to do with the storm of the century we just experienced for the past 18 hours, but since my phone line runs through my internet line, I was completely cut off from the modern world.

I spent the first couple of hours in a state of panic. I couldn't check my email, I couldn't update websites, I didn't know if my new boss was trying to get a hold of me with computer questions, and I could not speak to another living soul. Except of course for my 2 year old son.

After a morning spent trying desperately to fix the phone connection, only to be repeatedly told by a computer voice on the phone that I really didn't know what the heck I was doing, I decided that we must not have paid the Vonage bill.

That knowledge led to a moment or two of peace for me. Since I do not have a car and I didn't have telephone service or internet service, there wasn't a heck of a lot I could do to change my current situation. So I hunkered down and decided to make the best of it.

By lunchtime, my son and I had discovered new routines to our day. We went outside and "puddle-stomped." We discovered new books that we had never read before. We played dress up and had a short little parade. Since my computer still did everything else, I worked on my book for a while. I did laundry and washed bedsheets. I actually got a lot done today.

Right after I got my darling daughter off of the bus at 4:00pm, the phone finally rang. My husband and my best friend were desperately trying to call me all day to make sure we weren't flooding. (We didn't, yay!) They also explained to me that the entire area had lost internet. I have never been so glad to hear a phone ring in my life. I grabbed the ringing phone and clung to it like a life ring in a raging ocean storm. I was saved, I could speak to another adult, it was glorious! And if I had telephone service again, that means I could access the internet again. I quickly logged on and discovered I had 33 emails that I needed to read.

Guess what? Thirty-two of them were spam. Apparently I missed nothing at all today. Huh! Oh, well, I am off the read a book. Catch ya later!

My one year plan

I have a plan. I am calling it the 'Working Toward Independence' plan. If I can make my plan work, then by this time next year I will be a whole new woman.

Let me start from the beginning. When my second child was born, I knew that I wouldn't be able to afford daycare for a toddler and an infant on a private school teacher's salary. I decided to stay home and raise the children while my husband became the sole breadwinner of the family. I thought it would be great, and to a point it has been. I have had time to volunteer at my daughter's school and chaperone field trips. I am able to keep my children home from school when they are sick without going twenty rounds with an angry boss threatening my job if I don't come in. In that respect, it has been a dream.

On the downside, we were no longer able to afford two cars. We became a one car family. And I cannot do it anymore. I have been late for doctor's appointments more times than I can count. I have had to rely on my best friend for rides to places. I cannot participate in any playdates with my mommy friends unless someone is willing to pick me up. (and you would think that they would be happy to, but apparently not) To say it has been challenging is an understatement. And the state of Maryland makes it almost impossible to actually own a car. There is insurance, tags, insurance, tags, and so on. And if your insurance lapses for any reason, then the state fines you and revokes your tags. So, in a nutshell, if you can't afford to pay your insurance, the state punishes you by making you pay more money. And removing your means for getting to your job to make more money. And I can't afford to buy and maintain a car unless I get a job, but I can't really get a job without a car. What the heck is that all about? Talk about a catch-22. A catch-22 seemingly devised to keep me at home in my kitchen.

And the lack of money has been a challenge too. There are so many thing I would like my children to do, which they cannot do because we don't have the money. Or a way to get there.

The final straw came this week. I actually got mad at my best friend and deleted her from my facebook account because I was so jealous that she gets to get out and see people anytime she wants. Luckily, she understood that my particular psychosis had nothing actually to do with her and more to do with my hatred for staring at the walls, and forgave me. Although she hasn't refriended me online yet. But I am sure she still loves me. I hope.

But I have a plan. I have a job interview on Friday with a tutoring company. I hope I get the job. Hopefully I will be able then to make payments on a small car and get my self out of this house occasionally. Have fun. Make some friends and actually see them from time to time. Wish me luck! God helps those who help themselves, and I am doing my best to do so.

Good bye, Dear Crib

This week marks a milestone in our little family. My youngest child is getting ready to transition from the crib to a big boy bed. The bed arrives tomorrow, the mattresses arrive on Friday. We have sheets, pillow, blankets, everything we need.

This particular crib we have been using has had quite a journey in life. We purchased this crib over 6 years ago in anticipation of our first child's birth. We didn't actually use it until Allison was 4 months old, and it has been in near constant use since then. She slept in it until she was almost 3, and then we moved her into a big girl bed just in time for her brother to arrive. About a month went by when it wasn't being used in between children.

Allison's baby brother is now approaching his third birthday. He is growing too tall for the crib, even at the lowest mattress setting. He is showing an incredible interest in the rest of our beds. He makes up beds on the floor for his stuffed animals. He turns pillowcases into sleeping bags and pretends to sleep on the floor. His every move seems to say to us,like a well fed, sleepy Oliver Twist, "Please guys, I want a bed."

So, we have gotten him a bed. He may be ready, but I am not sure I am. The crib has a certain security to me. I can put him in it at night and know that when I wake up in the morning, he will still be where I left him. I am not ready for 'free range' baby yet. When his sister first left the crib, I used to wake up in the middle of the night to find her climbing into bed with me. I am dreading the return of those days.

Plus, the crib is almost like a member of the family now. It has lived with us and cared for our children at night for almost half a decade. I thought about giving it to another family, but a bolt is starting to fall out of one side. So, to the dump it goes.

Wish me luck. Wish Trevor luck. He should be a free-range chicken by Friday night. And I should, once again, be a tired, sleep deprived mommy by Saturday morning. Oh the joys of childhood.

Why a Chicken Necker?

The title of my blog is Confessions of a Chicken Necker Mom. Seems weird, I know. Before I introduce myself I should probably explain what the heck a chicken necker is. The short definition is someone who was not born on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, but insists on living here anyway. The term is also used to describe tourists to said area. Nobody has explained to me yet how long you need to live here before you aren't a tourist anymore. I am still waiting for clairification on that one.

To introduce myself, I am a 37 year old mother of two. I have a 5 year old daughter and a 2 year old son. My husband works in computers and I am a stay at home mom. Basically I sit in front of my computer all day and try to figure out ways for it to make me some money. In my pajamas. While I change my son's diapers and plead with him to use the potty.

I was raised in the Baltimore, Maryland area, and my husband and I made the decision two years ago to move our little family to Maryland's Eastern Shore. To the uninitiated, I live in that little sliver of land located across the Chesapeake Bay from things that most people would consider "civilization". I plan on sharing my perspective as a parent raising children in a land that sometimes seems as foreign as Neptune. I anticipate some of the subjects I will be writing about include my frustration over the lack of street lights, theatre, and the presence of the school fog delay. I may also start complaining about the sheer amount of time it takes my husband to get home across the Bay Bridge on summer Friday nights.

It's isn't all bad, living here, though. There are many good reasons to live here. When people ask why we moved our entire lives away from our families and everything we knew, I can recite a variety of reasons. The school system here is one of the best in the state. The crime rate is so low it is almost a crime that we have to pay police to work here at all. (Although I think perhaps that the low crime rate is BECAUSE of the police here, now that I think about it). Located on the eastern sliver of a state that has made taxing things a recreational sport, we enjoy very low property taxeds. Oddly enough, these reasons, while good and worthwhile, are incidental to our real reason for moving here. Plain and simple, we just like living near water.

So stick with me and hopefully I will entertain you as I negotiate the waters here. (Look, I made a pun!) I already have an entire notebook full of things to complain about, as well as my marvel at the wonder of nature. So stay tuned.